Trust
by lalapine
Summary: Mulder confronts Scully about a double standard in their relationship


TITLE - Trust  
AUTHOR - Tammy M. Parnell  
EMAIL ADDRESS: LaLapine@aol.com  
DISTRIBUTION STATEMENT: Anywhere, as long as my name & disclaimer are on it  
SPOILER WARNING: Memento Mori, Never Again, Irresistible  
RATING: PG  
CLASSIFICATION: S, A  
KEYWORDS: Friendshippy   
SUMMARY: Mulder confronts Scully about a double standard in their relationship  
DISCLAIMER: The are not mine. They belong to Chris Carter, 1013 Productions, Fox Television, and the very talented actors who portray them.  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Remember, sometimes the need to mess with someone's head outweighs the milstone of humiliation! (Nah, it doesn't apply to the story, but they are words to live by! Did you know gullible isn't in the dictionary?)  
  
Trust  
by Tammy M. Parnell  
  
Her shoulders tensed at his touch, though her eyes dared to look into his with a slightly wavering voice announcing, I'm fine, Mulder.  
  
He wasn't convinced at her usual refrain, but he removed his hand from her shoulder and wandered back towards his desk. He could see the tension fade from her small body and wondered why she was now pushing him away when only a month earlier she had allowed him to hold her, give her comfort. Finding out you had cancer took away some defense shields, he reminded himself as he watched her blotting carefully at her second bloody nose of the day. But now her walls were up, stronger than they had ever been, and as much as he tried not to take it personally, it still hurt.  
  
Dana tried to ignore her partner's steady gaze, concentrating instead on breathing slowly and wiping the trickle of blood from her upper lip. She wasn't sure why his closeness scared her so much. At night when the bad dreams and headaches invaded her sleep, she took comfort in the memory of his warm embrace after Penny Northan's death. But in the light of day, she had to be strong--not only to convince herself she could continue with her job, but to prevent him from worrying.   
  
Yeah, right, she told herself, like you pushing him away is making him worry less! She sighed a little too audibly and felt his gaze return to her.   
  
he asked, causing her stomach to tighten.  
  
I'm fine, she mumbled, not looking up.  
  
I know it's not about a desk, he said, watching her carefully, wondering where his sudden courage had come from.  
  
What? What are you talking about? She dared to look at him as she threw the soiled tissue away.  
  
He took a deep breath. I'm sorry I didn't realize that you felt inferior in our office. You've been my equal from the beginning, and I should have noticed.  
  
Oh, God, not this again, she thought irritably. Forget it, she dismissed him, wanting to spare herself the headache.  
  
No, Scully, he insisted, moving from his desk to crouch down by her chair. I know I can be an insensitive jerk sometimes... I get so caught up in what's going on at the moment, I don't always see the whole picture.  
  
Dana held his gaze, unsure what to think, feeling the truth to his words but at the same time wanting to reassure him that he was the best partner she could ever hope for. She remained silent.  
  
But when I do notice things, Scully, he continued gently, his eyes locked with hers, you push me away. How do you think that makes me feel?  
  
His sincerity was too much for her as she quickly looked away from his earnest expression, trying to hide the sudden moisture that came to her eyes. Still, she stayed beside him, listening carefully to his next words.  
  
When I'm hurt, Scully, you're always there. No questions asked, nothing wanted in return. You hold me when I'm in pain, you let me cry in your arms... And I need that, Dana. You're the only one I trust. He accented his words with a gentle touch to her hand. She reflexively clasped his hand tightly within hers, though her eyes were still diverted with silent tears that were now rolling steadily down her cheeks.  
  
Mulder continued, But when you're hurting, you push me away. I know you need to be strong, Scully. I know you need to be brave. But I need to know you need me, too. I need to feel you in my arms and know that you're alive. I want you to trust me with more than your life, Dana. His free hand gently pushed her chin so she was facing him. he added as their gazes met.  
  
His words did more to break the well-built walls than a ton of dynamite could have. The flood of tears was beyond stopping as her chin wobbled and her arms reached out around him. She buried her head against his neck as she felt his strong arms wrap around to rest a hand on her back and another to gently stroke her hair.  
  
She cried for a long time, letting herself go just as she had in the awful Pfaster case, forgetting there was a world other than the one she found in her partner's arms. There was so much she wanted to say, so many feelings she wanted to express, but she knew he felt them within her, had always been able to see her heart. And just as she had felt unappreciated with the lack of a desk, his words had made it clear to her that he felt just as unsure with her apparent lack of emotional trust. Somewhere along the line, their silent communication had faltered, their bond interrupted with an invisible something growing steadily between them. That something had now vanished with the reaffirmation of their faith in each other.  
  
When Dana's tears had stilled and her voice seemed steady enough for words, she kept her head against her partner's chest, their arms still wrapped comfortably around each other. She said quietly, You mean more to me, Mulder, than I could ever express in words.  
  
He tightened his arms slightly and spoke around the lump in his throat. For once the enigmatic Dr. Scully is at a loss for words, he joked lightly as he loosened his hold so he could look at the expected smile on her familiar features.  
  
She didn't disappoint him as her eyes lit up with the rest of her face. Only for you, Mulder, she said simply as he brushed a gentle hand against her cheek. At her words, he leaned closer and placed a tender kiss on her forehead. His arms came down until their hands were clasped together once more.  
  
How bout dinner? he asked her.  
  
I'd like that, she agreed, squeezing his hands gently before releasing them.  
  
No work, he promised as he got to his feet and stretched.  
  
We'll pretend to be normal for one night, she affirmed.  
  
he grinned, formally holding out a hand.  
  
She returned his smile, and they shook on it. Coats and briefcases in hand, Mulder flicked off the lights and placed a reassuring hand against the small of his partner's back. Together, they made their way away from the watchful eyes of the J. Edgar Hoover Building and towards an ever-strengthening friendship.  
  
THE END  
  



End file.
